Archive for August 2011

Feeling under-appreciated lately?

August 22, 2011

I worked recently with a couple of business owners who were also husband and wife.  They were not getting along well, not communicating, and generally in a state of dislike.  I talked to each individually about what was going on.  You know what I discovered??? 

As I talked with each 0f them,  they summed up their discontent with 4 very similar words.  “He/She doesn’t appreciate me.”  Each told different stories about how much he or she did for the business and the home, how hard he/she worked, how tirelessly he/she tried to take care of things, and the other didn’t even seem to notice.  Isn’t that interesting?

The issue had become a viscious cycle.  She didn’t feel appreciated, so she certainly wasn’t going to pour out her appreciation for the things he did.  He didn’t feel appreciated, so he certainly wasn’t going to tell her that he appreciated her.  Both readily volunteered that the other person did contribute greatly to the family’s and the business’s success — and then they would go on to say…”but so do I!”

How sad.  They were each feeling the same pain.  They both knew what it felt like to give and give and give and not be acknowledged for all that giving. 

I think this is often the case in relationships, both at home and at work.  Human beings need to know that they matter, that they are noticed, and that they are appreciated.  Sometimes, we don’t think to say “thank you” for little things.  Sometimes, we get stubborn and decide no “thank you” is warranted because we work hard, too.  Here’s the thing — there is no rationing on “thank you.”  There are plenty of “thank you’s” to go around.  In fact, they seem to multiply with use.  They spread as others pick up the thread and begin to say “thank you” back and to pass it on to others.

So look at the people in your life (at home and at work).  Think of the little things and the big things they do to make your life better.  Now, go tell some of them “thank you.”  Say “I really appreciate that you take the time to…”  You’ll likely find that it will come back to you over and over — in time.



Instruction manual for your employee…

August 16, 2011

A client of mine confessed something to me today.  He was relaying a story of an employee he lost–someone he would like to have kept.  His confession went something like this:

“I re-read her DISC report after she left and realized that I should have done so sooner.  It clearly showed me where I went wrong with her.  I gave her freedom and took a hands-off approach, because I had confidence in her.  She needed someone to engage with her and took my backing off as rejection.  If I’d only paid attention to what SHE needed.”

I was glad he realized that he had valuable information at his disposal; I just wished he had realized it soon enough for it to make a difference.  I work with clients all the time, providing DISC behavioral tools as part of their hiring process.  I encourage them to use it once they hire an individual as an “instruction manual on their new employee,” if you will.  The report will help them understand how the employee likes to interact, take in information and receive feedback.  It will even help them understand where the employee may struggle — as we all struggle somewhere!

Hiring is hard work, and it costs money.  Once we spend money on a good hiring process, we shouldn’t stop short.  We need to keep employees engaged and productive, and appeal to their needs and desires.  Otherwise, we’ll just keep repeating the hiring exercise over and over again.

So, here’s the admonition for today in two parts:

  1. Use a good behavioral tool like DISC when you’re hiring so you’ll do a better job of getting the right person in the right job.
  2. Use the tool you already paid for throughout your employee’s career — it will help you and the employee build a better working relationship that leads to success.

Want more information about DISC and how it works in the hiring process and beyond?  Call me.  704-315-9090